TED Talk Response: 10 ways to have a better conversation | Celeste Headlee

 


The events of the last year have laid out clearly just how divided the United States is right now. Every single topic of conversation can turn into a verbal battle, and for better or for worse, people refuse to really try to understand what their "enemies" are saying. I can't think of a better time to listen to what Celest Headlee is saying in this TED Talk, because right now what we need is to stop screaming at each other and instead try to engage in any kind of conversation that actually does something of use.

I think now more than ever, it's easy for someone to become entrenched in their own ideas and to shut out anything that doesn't fit. We can post anything on social media, and the more it gets seen and interacted with and liked and shared, the more we feel validated of our beliefs and sure that we are right and others are wrong. That can lead to conversations just becoming ways to spread your beliefs just like you do online, which in turn only leads to arguments if the people you talk to don't feel the same way. As someone who has friends and family on both sides of the political spectrum, I know what it means to have to keep my mouth shut and just go with something I disagree with for the sake of polite conversation. It is so important, as Headlee pointed out, to pay real attention to what the other person is saying, because there's always something to learn if you look for it.

I think the most important - and increasingly one of the rarest - things that makes a person good at having conversations is an open mind. All of us are predisposed to think a certain way; we all have biases and opinions and perspectives that make up who we are. However, that does not mean that we can't have those and simultaneously be willing to listen to opposing beliefs. We can have meaningful conversation with people we disagree with, as long as both parties are willing to talk with the goal of learning about what the other has to say, and not to force your own beliefs on them. God knows we need that right about now.

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